Stu's Stew

Ever since he was a little boy Stewart had lived with his grandmother. His parents had died in a tragic wheelbarrow racing accident when he was 3 so he was very attached to his grandmother. On thursday nights Stewart’s grandma would make him a delicious stew. It had bulbous carrots, fatty venison, vibrant tomatoes and just a wee bit o’ potatoes. She would always say, “Stuey, come here darling and I will show you how to make my stew.” 

But, too lazy to get up from watching Space Jam which was his favorite movie, he would always say, “No grandma, I watching my program. Just cook it.”

So every Thursday she would cook the stew without him and every Thursday he would eat the stew, naive to the secrets of making the fueling concoction. That’s how the stew scenario went for all of Stu’s life, and he never did learn how to make the stew but it never had bothered him up to this point. 

Many years later, Stu and a couple of his buddies went on a caribou hunting trip in deep Alaska. While wandering the frozen tundra they fell into a deep crevice in the ice. They fell very far but were kept alive by the feet of soft pow at the bottom. After assessing the situation they realized they were trapped down there until they were found and un-trapped, which could take months. The first thing on their to do list was food. They searched the entire cavern and found that the only thing that grew down there were bulbous carrots, vibrant tomatoes and plump potatoes. One of his comrades pulled out a little bit of caribou meat from his previous hunt. They stared at the ingredients but didn’t have any idea what they could make. Suddenly, Stu remembered back in his childhood when his grandmother used to make a stew. He thought and thought and thought some more but to his dismay he hadn’t listened to his grandma when she had cooked it. Unable to make a meal, they all starved and died.